


Bella Notte

by mddnapstablook



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Stan's POV, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, kenny and butters are mentioned, light stendy and bunny and maybe onesided style if u squint, pining!kyle, technically but dont worry it's third person limited pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15848283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mddnapstablook/pseuds/mddnapstablook
Summary: Stan puts two and two together.





	Bella Notte

It had started, in Stan’s opinion, at Cartman’s 18th birthday party. That was when he first noticed Kyle acting weird, though at the time it had only seemed like a small anomaly.

Cartman was a notoriously difficult person to shop for. The guys would usually consult each other for ideas, joking about chipping in on a gym membership before someone, often Butters, would make a really good suggestion and from there everyone could pretty much get something decent together that wouldn’t put them on Cartman’s shit list for the next month. Stan usually went with something practical or what he’d already heard Cartman say he might want. It was the safest bet, and he didn’t have Butter’s creativity to make anything or Kenny’s sense of humor to come up with a decent enough joke gift to get out of something cool.

Kyle usually resorted to money. Who didn’t like getting money as a present? It was a little impersonal, sure, but it was easy. And Kyle would usually at least get Stan an actual gift on account of their best friend status, so it didn’t really matter to him. 

That year though, Kyle had gotten Cartman a camera. Stan didn’t know much about cameras, but the other two certainly did, both of them being on the yearbook team and all. Cartman was a pretty good photographer, and he’d apparently been super impressed with the newest model that he’d been presented with. At the time, Stan hadn’t given it much thought. Cartman was ecstatic, clicking picture after picture and everyone kind of just struggled through the blindness induced by constant flash before they’d all turned their attention to whatever else. And the night was kind of a blur after the shots got passed around. 

But that had been weird. Kyle had actually gotten Cartman a gift, and not just like cologne or something. He’d put effort into buying something that Cartman would actually use and appreciate, which was more than he would do for even, like, Kenny or someone who he actually liked. 

Stan didn’t think about it though, not yet. Two months later the school year started anew, and Kyle joined the basketball team. Stan being the super best friend that he was would stay after school on the days Kyle had practice so they could walk home together. 

Walking home from school with Kyle without the other guys around was one of those things Stan loved but would never admit to. Kyle was usually exhausted, practically leaning on him the whole way as they chatted about this and that. He’d even be too tired to talk about school, (which as of late had been the only thing Kyle wanted to talk about) so their topics drifted from tv and books, and to their other friends and their families.

With college drawing nearer each day, the more Kyle got sucked into his studying and working with his dad, the less Stan would see him. They were both busy of course, it wasn’t like Stan was just sitting sad and alone in his room all the time missing Kyle- 

(though he did an embarrassing amount of that, too, the missing him was more when he was right there, sitting beside him at lunch but not firing back at Cartman’s insults or looking scandalized by Kenny’s stories because he’s too busy finishing up a book report he fell asleep writing last night.) 

-but Stan worried about them drifting apart like they did in middle school, and Stan thinks about a life without his super best friend and late at night it freaks him out A Lot. 

Walking home with Kyle after basketball practice is kind of like a balm on those thoughts, reminding him with each step that Kyle is still there, and he still cares about Stan. Stan doesn’t voice any of that because it sounds kind of gay in his head, but he thinks it. 

It’s on one of those walks that Stan gets his second clue. Kyle laughed lightly at something on his phone before slipping it back into his pocket just as they passed their elementary bus stop. Stan kicked the snow ahead of him unnecessarily, sending it flying only to be kicked up again just as it settled. “What was that?” he asked.

Strangely, Kyle’s face colored and he ducked his head. “Just Cartman.” he answered, waving it off but continuing to not look at Stan. 

“Yeah?” he narrowed his eyes. 

“Yep,” Kyle replied, popping the ‘p’. “Are you still staying this weekend?”

A subject change? Oh this was ridiculously suspicious. Stan nodded. “What did Cartman say?” he asked, because he was direct and also didn’t like the idea that Kyle was keeping something from him. 

Kyle for his part seemed to have gotten ahold of his emotions and rolled his eyes in disinterest. “You’re still on that? He just said ‘good luck at practice’.” Kyle pulled his phone out and held it towards Stan. “Wanna see for yourself?”

Stan shook his head. He kind of did want to see, just to make sure Kyle wasn’t lying, but he thought better of it. Why would Kyle lie? What would he even be hiding? Maybe his weird reaction to being questioned was more at the fact he was being interrogated about a harmless text and less about… guilt? Embarrassment? What the fuck ever Stan might have thought this could be about?

Kyle put his phone away again and started talking about a book he was reading and Stan considered the matter dropped. Like the camera, Stan let it go and took it for what it was; nothing worth thinking about. 

Then in October, while Stan is filled with thoughts of Halloween and his own approaching birthday, Kyle comes out of the fucking closet. It’s just to him at first, but Kyle doesn’t wait longer than a week to tell Kenny and Cartman while the four of them are totally not smoking pot in Cartman’s room. Kenny only asked if he was allowed to tell Butters (Kyle said yes) and Cartman pretty much just kept his mouth shut. Overall, not really what constituted as a Lifetime movie, but it wasn’t like Kyle being gay was any great revelation that totally changed everything. In fact to Stan, it really didn’t change anything at all. Kyle was still Kyle. He still liked strawberry ice cream and elephants and bad jokes. 

(If Stan had to point out any real differences, it would be that Kyle seemed way more willing to watch Patrick Swayze and Zac Efron movies than he used to be.)

Then it’s New Years Eve. It’s only the five of them, up in Cartman’s room like usual. They’d all been planning on going to someone’s party, but never ended up making it anywhere, which was fine since they had all the pizza and alcohol that they could want anyway, courtesy of Liane. Kyle never liked to drink much when they did go out, but he was comfortable enough there to get wasted, apparently. He’d been laughing loudly at every one of Cartman’s half slurred jokes since his second drink, and it only served to further encourage Cartman’s attempts at humor. Butters at least was thankful for Cartman’s distraction, as it let him get the upper hand in their round of Mario Kart. 

“Wow, Kyle is layin’ it on thick, huh?” Kenny passed the bong to Stan before he could answer, and by the time he had passed it along, he’d forgotten what Kenny had said. But he quietly watched the way Kyle’s eyes followed Cartman’s movements as he took his hit and slowly exhaled. It made Stan think about the camera. He wasn’t sure why he was thinking about the camera though, his mind fuzzy with weed and vodka. 

Butters cheered at the tv and Cartman swore, and like that the moment had passed and Stan was staring at the clock trying to count how many minutes until midnight. Kenny helpfully told him they had five minutes, and it occurred to him that he was probably keeping track for them only so he’d know when he could kiss Butters. Stan’s heart twinged briefly as he remembered that Wendy was with her family on a skiing trip and he wouldn’t get to see her until the school year resumed. 

He looked at Kyle, who was wearing one of Stan’s shirts that was too big in the shoulder area and as a result always slightly hung off one side. He looked at Cartman, who was staring at Kyle with round eyes and pink cheeks. 

Kyle wobbled over to the door, and when Stan asked, he said he was going to the kitchen to get water. Stan doubted Kyle’s ability to survive the stairs, but didn’t say anything about it. Three minutes later, Cartman left too. Kenny laughed as he did, with glassy, red eyes that seemed surprisingly coherent, and Butters shushed him. Stan’s mind swam; he knew he should be picking up on something. Maybe if he was sober he’d be able to figure out what his brain was trying to tell him. He decided he’s think it over tomorrow, if he remembered, and if it seemed as important then as it seemed to drunk/high Stan. 

The next day, as it turned out, Stan hadn’t wanted to think about anything, much less be alive as long as his head kept pounding the way it did. The other guys seemed to be in pretty much the same shape, all of them equally miserable and full of regret. Stan took comfort in the fact his pain was shared by others, and he didn’t think about the party again as whenever he tried he got nauseous. 

The school year resumed, and things were normal. Kyle came out to everyone else, but no one really cared. Stan sometimes would overhear Gerald and his dad talking about it over cards while he watched tv in the living room, but he kept it to himself. Kyle didn’t talk to Gerald much anymore, and conversations turned towards his relationship with his dad usually ended with Kyle getting angry or closed off. Stan hated making Kyle upset, so he usually steered clear of those topics. 

Being out to everyone, not just their friend group, did kind of change things. Any girl that had shown romantic interest in Kyle before had given up, which he seemed relieved by.  
Clyde, interestingly enough, started hanging around their friend group though, and that was weird. At least it was up to the moment he asked Kyle on a date for that Friday night at seven. Then it made sense.

Kyle’s jaw had dropped in surprise and Stan waited impatiently for his answer. Kyle quietly asked for time to think about it and Clyde smirked like he already knew the answer and walked away, leaving Kyle to bury his face in his locker as Stan processed what had just happened. 

“Are you going to say yes?” Stan asked. 

Kyle shook his head. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

“Why not?”

Kyle didn’t answer, instead shuffling books around in his locker as his face turned red and his brows furrowed. He didn’t look up even when Cartman and Kenny had approached.  
“What’s up?” Kenny inquired.

“Clyde asked Kyle out,” Stan responded. Kyle let out an offended little, “Dude!” but it’s not like he’d said Stan couldn’t tell them. It didn’t really seem like a secret, and anyway it was too late to take it back. 

“Whoa, really? What did you say?” Kenny asked, eyes wide as he shoved Kyle lightly. Beside him, Cartman looked uncomfortable. Before Stan could ask him if he was okay, Kyle spoke.

“I said I’d think about it, can we let it go now?” Kyle slammed his locker and looked at them expectantly.

“Dude, you should say yes. Why do you need to think about it?” Kenny went on, seemingly delighted. 

Kyle sputtered, “I haven’t thought about Clyde like that. I don’t- it’s weird. I don’t want to talk about it, man.”

Cartman huffed, but otherwise didn’t say anything on the matter, and Stan gave him a careful look. “You okay, Cartman?”

Cartman grumbled some sort of answer and Kyle kept his eyes trained on the floor, and finally, everything clicked. A bunch of tiny moments came together in Stan’s mind; little clues that he’d made a mental note of before moving on and forgetting all about it.

Until now. Until now and now Stan finally got it, and he was internally screaming. It was so obvious! How had he not noticed the fucking enormous crush Kyle had on Cartman?  
The only reason he could clearly come up with was: because it’s Cartman. 

The worst part was it made total sense, if he thought about it. (And at this point, how could he not?) Cartman had always been weirdly obsessed with Kyle, and while the latter tended to be much more lowkey, it was still just as obvious to anyone that knew them that Kyle probably spent just as long thinking about Cartman every day as Cartman did for him. If Stan wasn’t around, it wasn’t Kenny or Butters that Kyle sought out for company, it was Cartman. How Stan could only just now see what had so clearly been in front of him for so long was kind of frightening. Did he even know Kyle at all?

But he did know Kyle. Kyle would never want anyone to know he had a crush on Cartman. He would probably rather take that secret to his grave. He truly, honestly, probably wouldn’t even tell Stan, in fact, hadn’t told Stan at all. 

And with a glance at Cartman, brown eyes trained on Kyle like if he let him out of his sights he’d be gone for good, Stan realized Kyle wouldn’t ever in a million years actually tell Cartman, even if everyone knew it would be mutual. 

Kyle had stormed off, clearly done with the conversation, and the group went their separate ways. 

Stan couldn’t stop thinking about it, though. It wasn’t like he’d given much thought to Kyle’s love life (or lack thereof) prior to this realization of his, but finding out he was into Eric Theodore Cartman was something that he couldn’t just let go of. Was it kind of gross to think about? Absolutely. 

That night though, laying in bed and staring at his John Elway poster, Stan thought about Cartman’s 18th birthday again. Then he thought about New Years, and a million little conversations with Kyle where he brought up Cartman for no reason, wondered what he was getting up to, or relaying something idiotic he’d actually said to a living person.

And Stan realized with dulled horror that in the last few months whenever Kyle and Cartman would get into one of their screaming matches that neither one of them would actually seem angry. It was more like a contest of who could get the other to laugh and stop being mad first, both making increasingly more ridiculous statements in louder voices until inevitably, they were told by outside sources to please shut the fuck up or otherwise leave the premises.

If that shit happened in middle school, it would be a bloodbath between them. Now they just laughed it off. What everyone had been mistaking for maturity was really just his friends being super fucking gay.

Stan thought about Wendy and how happy she made him, even on days where all he could think about was wanting to go to sleep and never wake up. He thought about Kenny and Butters, who were so disgustingly in love with each other he sometimes wondered if just witnessing the two together in all their sugary sweetness was enough to cause cavities. And he thought about Cartman, who probably hadn’t gone a day without thinking about Kyle since they all met in preschool. 

Stan wanted Kyle to have that; to have someone who made him smile and helped him feel better about whatever things he kept inside. Everyone deserved that, of course, and above all else, why couldn’t his super best friend have what he so clearly wanted, especially when it was within grasp?

But Kyle was never going to say anything. He hadn’t said anything thus far, and it was clear he was pretty good at keeping secrets. 

Which only left…

Stan couldn’t help the mind-movie his brain supplied of him playing accordion while Cartman and Kyle shared a plate of spaghetti. Suddenly, it was The Most Important thing to Stan; he had to make that happen. It was only mid-January, so there was still plenty of time for an Eric Cartman style elaborate Valentine's Day plan. He just needed to get Kenny and Butters on board. Cartman too, because he was sure if he let Kenny talk him into it that actually having one half of the couple he was trying to set up in on the scheme would definitely smooth things out. 

He’d also need to learn to play the accordion. Details, details.

**Author's Note:**

> i love fics written from a character outside of the relationship's perspective, and i LOVE stan. there aren't enough pining kyle fics out there in the world, and to top it all off, no one but me seems to think that stan has the capacity to realize his friends wanna fuck. stan's not dumb!! he knows kyle and maybe it would take him awhile and it's written in the blood contract i signed when i gave up my soul for this show that kenny is all-knowing so maybe stan won't even be the first to know, but there's no way that the culmination of kyman would completely blind side him. at least that's my humble onion, so thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.
> 
> sidebar, im marking this as complete but i may come back to it. who knows. comments are as always appreciated, and i hope you didnt totally hate this. xx


End file.
